


We sparkle like Bowie in the morning sun

by absentloversthings



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Biting, I swear, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mirror Sex, Other, Ryden, Vampire Sex, Violence, but a charming one, but not only !, it has a plot, it's a vampire AU cheers, kinda BDSM, ryan is a little bit of a slut, so there will be gross stuff like blood play, sounds fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 04:56:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absentloversthings/pseuds/absentloversthings
Summary: If Ryan had a heart, a pulsating, pumping and in working condition heart, and not this sad useless bag of flesh that hasn't done his job once in the half century he has been reborn, if Ryan had that heart, he believes that in this moment it would have been beating uncommonly fast, probably quicker than sticks on skins during a drum solo, or something.In which Ryan is a member of Brendon's vampire circle.





	1. Take a good swing at me and everything is even

**Author's Note:**

> They don't actually sparkle like Bowie. They don't actually sparkle at all. This whole thing has nothing to do with Bowie, sadly. This is just a multiple vampire reference. 
> 
> Uh, ok so about this fic, it's not gonna be very cute, because they're scary vampire and they're not good guys, at least not in the beginning. Ryan is a little bit less worse than Brendon, so hold on to that. 
> 
> About me writing this, it started out as a 1k standalone and then it grew... a little. You have no idea how hard it is for me to write, especially in english. You have no idea how long it took me to write just that, and it's not even long (it's gonna be like 16k max). I wanted to finish it before posting, because i don't trust myself at all. It's not totally finished yet, but it will be.  
> Also it exists because of my film analyses teacher (an alternative name for his class being : Is this sexual subtext or am i just a perv ?) who conveniently chose to do a chapter about vampire movies (an alternative name for it being : Yes, this is a metaphor for homosexuality) just while i was writing this fic, so yeah thanks for inspiring me unknowingly. Shout out. 
> 
> As usual, there probably will be very embarrassing english mistakes, i try my best, i read and re-read but i don't have any beta and you know... point it to me nicely if you spot something horrible.
> 
> Enjoy !

The moonlight enters by the window behind and falls on his pale skin, highlighting sharp cheekbones and full lips. He's looking away from Ryan, tapping lightly his fingers on the lean of the throne.

Ryan's on his knees, held down on the dusty carpet by two guards, his hands cuffed behind his back, and he knows that he's in a lots of trouble right now.

"Ryan, Ryan, Ryan..." Brendon sighs dramatically, his low voice echoing in the silent room, "What are we gonna do with you ?"

He turns his head and finally looks down to the captive, holding a falsely concerned gaze. His eyes and his juvenile face make him look young and innocent, but Ryan knows better. They all do. Brendon's a trickster, a wolf disguised as the red riding hood. He is old, powerful, merciless, and he's also the smartest. That's why he is their leader, because he inspires fear and respect.

"I'm sorry si-" Ryan tries to say. One of the guards kicks him in the guts.

"No talking except if i tell you so, sweetheart" Brendon says, nodding sadly. "Spencer, can you remind us all what our friend Ryan did, so that everyone here is aware of why this little meeting is necessary ?" Brendon asks.

"Ryan's a whore." Spencer answers from somewhere behind the boy.

Everyone laughs and a noise of whispered conversations starts to rise. Only now Ryan realizes that there is way more people in the room than he first assumed. He quickly looks around to see that not only Spencer, but also Jon, William and Gabe are present, as well as...probably the entire circle. He's starting to feel embarrassed. Why on hearth did Brendon summon everyone ? He's ok with being punished when he did something wrong, but he'd rather not be in front the others.

Brendon smiles slightly and waves his hand. The room falls silent.

"Thank you, Spencer. But could you be more precise, please..." he insists, his tone firmer.

"Well, sir, rumor has it, that Ross has let Pete Wentz... fuck him. I heard he even asked for it in the first place."

Ryan can hear all the scandalized reactions around him. He can feel the fingers pointed at him, all the accusing stares... he rolls his eyes internally. Brendon waves again and they all shut up immediately. He looks at Ryan intensely and asks, almost whispering, "Is that true, kid ?"

Ryan can't hold his gaze. He bows down and looks at the floor. He feels like a child caught stealing candy. He doesn't even try to deny, Brendon already knows the answer to his question, anyway. All of this, it's just a play. Brendon likes drama, theatricality.

"Yes."

When he finds the courage to look up again, he can identify disgust in Brendon's eyes, which almost makes him feel guilty. Almost. Because Pete is too much of a good fuck for him to actually regret anything. And when he went there, he knew it was risky. He understands why Brendon's so pissed, though. After all, Pete's his creator, and he is also the leader of the rival circle. And you sure as hell should not fool around with people like that, but it's not like he wants to leave Brendon to join him, or anything. Fucking is the only thing Pete's good at.

No, Ryan just happened to be around their lair on a hunt night, and the hooker he killed was young enough for her blood to not be messed up by drugs yet, almost tasted clean (Ryan fucking hated when they did cocaine or heroin, tasted sour and disgusting). A good meal always had Ryan horny, and, Pete's always ready to help him out... and well it happened.

Brendon gets up and walks a few steps to Ryan, until he's close enough to violently grab his chin and hold it up. For a moment, Brendon's hold his so strong that Ryan believes he will tear his head off but he loses up eventually, and let go.

"Since you're smart enough not to lie to my face, I'll be clement and not rip you throat off. I will not cut your head and give it to the worms to eat," he declares, turning his back to Ryan and to the rest of the circle. "However, I do believe you need a punishment at the mesure of your crime. Betrayal, that is."

Brendon pretends to be lost in his thoughts for a moment, his sight wandering around the room, before he suddenly looks back to Ryan with a terrifying grin, and for a split second, he can see his normally brown eyes turn completely black.

"I think you need to be reminded where your loyalty lays," Brendon says, and he smiles wider, discovering white teeth and unmissable sharp fangs. "I see only one solution..."

 

***

 

If Ryan had a heart, a pulsating, pumping and in working condition heart, and not this sad useless bag of flesh that hasn't done his job once in the half century Ryan has been reborn, if he had that heart, he believes that in this moment it would have been beating uncommonly fast, probably quicker than sticks on skins during a drum solo, or something. He's not sure he has already been that afraid before, not during this life.

He tries to struggle again, tries to free himself, with very little hope. The only thing he obtains is the guards tightening their grip on him and hurting him in passing.

"Up," Brendon commands.

Ryan obeys.

He's a little taller than Brendon, but it doesn't matter. He feels short and helpless and dominated. They are so close, just a few inches away from each other, and he can see Brendon inspecting him. At this moment, he knows that every single one of his thoughts aren't secret anymore, that the other vampire can see it all, observe it all through his eyes. Ryan holds his breath while Brendon pushes his head gently to the side, uncovering his neck. He traces his skin from he junction of his ear to his shoulder, slowly, almost with some sort of sensitivity. Ryan closes his eyes, and a few seconds later, he can feel Brendon's cold fangs breaking his skin.

 

***

 

Ryan doesn't really understand how it works, and he doesn't really care, to be perfectly honest. What he knows about vampires is what Pete told him after he changed him, or what he learned empirically.

Basically, his body, his organs are dead, except his brain. After a while, he'll start to dry and paralyze slowly until he can't move at all. Then, he'll spend the rest of eternity suffering hell, unable to ever move or scream his pain away. The only alternative to this horrific fate is to reload his system by drinking enough blood, preferably human blood. That's why vampires lives this unbearable constant feeling of thirst. That's nature's way of reminding them, 'Hey, you gotta feed' at least, that's how Ryan sees it.

The technical aspect of it is pretty mysterious, some say it works thanks to the regenerating virtues of blood, but it hasn't been proven (if anything, it has been proven that it _doesn't_ work). Now, some even believe that the phenomenon is above the laws of nature, and they're not even reluctant to the use of the term magic. Ryan doesn't believe in this bullshit. To him, magic is what humans (or other intelligent beings) call what they don't understand right away and are afraid of, until they find a scientific explanation to it.

So vampires feed on living animals. Deer or any big mammals are a good choice, as a complement, but the only satisfying prey is a human being. Ryan sometimes calm his self-consciousness- he's not a big fan of slaughtering people- by the fact that dying from a vampire bite might be the best death you can have. They release a venom containing endorphins that are supposed to bring their victim in a state of bliss and felicity before putting them slowly to sleep, until they finally die.

So Ryan has heard the stories, but it's actually very different to experience it himself. Especially when it's not something you're supposed to do to another vampire. It's actually seen as one of the most humiliating, degrading thing you could do to a pair.

 

***

 

At first, there's a sharp pain where Brendon's biting, but it doesn't last long. Seconds later he feels his body relaxing, and a warm, soothing sensation wrapping around him. He is suddenly aware of all the blood running inside of him and he feels a light tickle in his fingers.

Very fuzzy memories come to his mind, or more like the remembrance of sensations...

-That one time he did coke on a beach close to Mexico.

-When he was thirteen and his team won the basketball championship and his father actually came to the game and told him he was proud of him.

-That other time his girlfriend enticed him into taking shrooms and how he felt like the king of the world, before he became crazy and locked himself in his room, convinced that they were coming for him.

-That day he got fucked by his gorgeous literature teacher in college, the first time he ever had sex with another man.

 

He leans onto Brendon, feeling his limbs pleasantly give up and he lets his body be held while he just witness himself pass out.


	2. You talk far too much for someone so unkind

*

"Do you want some tea, Ryan ?" the girl asks.

"Sure, thanks"

She hands him the tiny porcelain cup. Their finger brush when he takes it, and her cheeks turn slightly pink. There's a little wind and a lock of her shiny blond hair flies on her face. Ryan pushes it behind her ear with a finger. She laughs and then smiles, the bright sun making her blue eyes sparkly. He smiles back at her, now placing his hand on hers, on the tiny garden table, right next to the tea-pot. He leans on his chair, eyes closed, enjoying the heat of the sun on his face. He takes the cup to his lips, looking forward to the sugary taste. Instead of the light tea he was expecting, it's a salty, gooey substance that lands on his tongue.

He spits immediately and open his eyes wide. His heart makes a jump inside his ribcage when he sees what's filling his cup : hot, thick blood.

"What the-"

He almost falls of his chair when he sees her. Her lips and skin have turned mealy white, her eyes are rolled up comically and her neck is cracked to the side. She's bleeding from her mouth and her ears, there's red on her blue dress and on her hair and on the table, everywhere Ryan looks.

"That's a shame. She seemed charming"

The words are coming from a voice on his left side. He turns his head to see Brendon, staring calmly at him, but looking a little apologetic. He's positive Brendon wasn't here two seconds ago.

"Why did you do that ?" Ryan almost cries. Brendon raises an eyebrow.

"Hey, I didn't do anything"

"Ryan, why would you do something like that ?" she asks, her voice broken. She's glancing at him with big empty eyes.

"See ?" Brendon says, but Ryan can't pay attention to him, because it doesn't make any sense. She was just dead in front of his eyes. And she doesn't even look alive, but she's moving and talking. The next second the table has disappeared, and somehow, she's holding him by the collar of his shirt, trapping him close, as her smell fills his nose, pungent and rotten, causing him to gag.

"You should probably kill her, now, " he hears Brendon saying matter of factly. He doesn't want to. He really has no control over what is happening here, despite what they all seem to think, but she puts her hands on his neck and he realizes that she's trying to strangle him, so he does what his instincts urge him to and jumps at her neck, fangs out.

As he is bowed over her, drinking her blood, he feels a hand on his shoulder, and soon Brendon is whispering to him.

"What do you say we switch places ?" And suddenly, Ryan's on the floor, replacing the girl, as Brendon's over him, bleeding him to death.

*

When he wakes up from his nightmare, it's daytime and Ryan's laying on his bed. Technically, vampires don't need to sleep, but they _can_ , even though it asks a little bit of practice. And it's one thing he usually likes to do, once in a while, out of boredom. It also allows him to just not be for a moment, to rest his mind, since immortality is actually exhausting.

But tonight (well, today), Ryan's mind just won't cooperate, apparently. He feels uneasy and tired. He hates dreaming. Especially when the dreams are so... vivid. The weirdest thing about all this, he realizes, is that nightmares like that shouldn't give him hard ons.

He decides to ignore it and tries to go back to sleep, for a while. At some point, though, his hand is automatically drawn to his neck. He feels the skin, still swollen under his fingers, he scratches despite himself, snatching the spot of coagulated blood. He passes his fingers over the reopened wound, slowly, dragging just a little blood on the skin around. Then, he brings his digit to his lips and licks, tasting a little bit of it on his tongue. He wipes his finger on the sheets and he brings his hand to his cock, this time, because of course, he's painfully hard. He jerks off and as the pleasure rushes through him, he imagines other hands instead of his own, and when he comes, there's a name on his lips that gets out as a whisper.

 

***

 

Ryan can't focus on the book in front of his eyes, no matter how hard he tries. After the third unsuccessful attempt at reading and understanding the same paragraph, he closes the dusty book abruptly and sighs. He stands up and walks to the window, spreads the heavy curtains open and take a look outside. He watches the landscape slowly turn grey. The shadows on the ground are expanding, swallowing everything around, as the sun is disappearing far away, letting the moon take over for the night. The last sunbeams are weak and Ryan barely even feels the itch on his skin.

The garden used to be rich and luxuriant. There used to be flowers and bees and birds and life. He sees himself lying on the grass by the pond, watching the carps swim lazily and catch bugs once in a while.

Ryan has really vague memories of his first life, but he remembers this, he views it in his mind like he would watch a movie about the life of someone else. He used to come here because it was Spencer's house and he actually used to be friend with Spencer. _They_ , him and Spencer, the garden, the house as well, have nothing to do with what they used to be. Brendon has decided to make the house their lair. It's an understandable pick, since it is old, located at the edge of the forest and almost the size of a castle. Indeed it has numerous rooms, caves, lounges and a fabulous library. Ryan wonders if Spencer has had any choice regarding the requisition of his family mansion. Has it annoyed him ? Or has it made him proud, made him feel important within the circle ? Ryan can't keep a mocking grin from settling on his face. The house has nothing left of its past wealth. All the rooms are dirty, the rare furniture that hasn't been broken or stolen is gradually eaten by the pest. The paintings hanging on the walls are so dusty that the figures represented, Spencer's kin, have often become invisible. That's what you get for being such an ass-kisser.

"Ryan."

He turns around fast at his name, showing his fangs and hissing aggressively at an amused Brendon. He's watching him from the other side of the room, wearing that smug grin that Ryan hates.

"Well, looks like someone's a little on edge"

Ryan sighs and retracts his fangs. He's made an ass of himself in front of Brendon again, and that, he thinks, is getting kind of old.

So what, maybe he is a little worn out. Maybe he didn't heard Brendon entering the room and maybe as a vampire he should have. Maybe he overreacted a bit, but since... since _it_ happened, he hasn't felt like himself. He's too distracted, unfazed, and easily unsettled. He hates it.

"So," Brendon asks, "what are you doing here on your own ? You know everyone else is gone hunting."

"I know, I just... i already hunt this week. I had to after... you know..."

"After I bit you."

"Exactly."

Ryan has unconsciously brought a hand to his neck, and he drops it promptly at the realization.

Brendon is closer to him now and it makes Ryan feel so uncomfortable. It's the first time they see each other since the other night and they're alone in the house. Now that he thinks about it, he really should have known. He thought skipping the hunt night would allow him to be at peace and to get himself back together. Except, of course, Brendon never hunts along with them.

"Are you mad at me about it ?"Brendon questions. Ryan hesitates before shaking his head. "I hope you understand that you left me no choice, boy."

The condescendance in Brendon's tone is so annoying to Ryan that he doesn't even stop himself from dropping a sarcastic _'Yeah, right'_.

Brendon's eyes widen a little, probably surprised by Ryan's insolence. He is himself alarmed by his own boldness. He knows it's not worth it. Now Brendon's jaw has tighten and he gives Ryan a death glare.

"You piss me off, Ross."

Ryan stares down, a little frightened, scratching his neck nervously. Brendon suddenly grabs his hand, roughly, and it almost makes Ryan jump because he was at three meters away from him and less than a second later, he is right here, his face so close to Ryan's that he's sure if Brendon had a breath he would feel it on his mouth right now. They maintain look, for a while.

Brendon pushes him abruptly against a wall, and kisses him. Brendon's lips are cold and firm, soon leaving his mouth to slither on his jaw. He's breathing hard, mostly by reflex, and it's like his mind just went on vacation. When Brendon's lips land on his neck, he moans, and he realizes that the only thing he has been thinking about since Brendon bit him, is that he wants it to happen again _so bad_.

He's so desperate for it that he grabs Brendon's hair and bends his head, offering himself. He feels Brendon's lips part a little agains his skin, and yes, now there's no doubt it's going to happen, Brendon's canine are going to come out and he's going to finally bite him... but he sense Brendon's mouth stretching in a smile instead. He giggles against Ryan's throat and pulls back.

Ryan is angry and ashamed and all he can do is stare at Brendon, incredulous.

"I wasn't gonna do it," Brendon explains. His eyes have a malicious spark in them "I was just gonna scare you, It hadn't even hit my mind that you might had liked it that much the first time".

He walks toward the exit, leaving Ryan on his own in the room, but he turns around one last time before he closes the door, "I've already hunted today. That would be way too much for now, but let's say I'm expecting you... after tomorrow. At my room. So we can, you know... discuss this. Oh, and... you should probably hunt before." 

He doesn't wait for an answer as the door shuts loudly, resonating along the old corridors of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk when i'll be posting the next chapter. Probably soon since i'm on school break tomorrow !


	3. I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's nothing and a lot in this chapter. 
> 
> First of all, smut. Uh. Tell me about it lol.  
> (it's a lil kinky but you've read the tags)
> 
> Then some things that may or may not have an importance for the (IHE voice) "plot". 
> 
> (also it's the third time i try to post this, i'm so close to just giving up)

Brendon leads him to his bedroom, and it's no different from the rest of the house : dusty, vast and cold . He walks to the gigantic bed in the center of the otherwise nearly empty room, except for a piano in a corner. He sits on the edge of the bed and makes a sign for Ryan to come closer. Ryan has the time to regret all his life choices, everything that led to this moment one more time, before he steps inside and approach Brendon, who pats the space on the bed next to him. He's smiling at Ryan, but not in a creepy way like he usually does, surprisingly. He seems genuinely pleased, and kind of... warm. So Ryan sits next to the other vampire and at first, he's so tense that he just looks down at his feet. That's only when his gaze goes back up that he notices the huge mirror on the wall in front of them.

"Nice, isn't it ?" Brendon says, and Ryan can't help but stare at him bewildered. There's a strange sensation awaking in his stomach. Something in the idea that Brendon likes to watch himself in bed makes him feel weird.

Brendon places one arm around his side and leans on him, nestling his face in Ryan's neck, before taking a deep breath.

"You smell really good," he says, his nose pressed against Ryan's skin, "Are you fed ?"

"Uh, yes."

"Great."

Brendon pulls back, removing is hand from Ryan. He can't help but miss the contact as soon as it's gone.

Brendon's eyes are darker now, and he's not smiling anymore.

"Are you really sure you wanna do that ?" he asks, gravely, "Because once I'm started, I'm not I probably won't be able to stop."

Ryan's slightly surprised by the question. He didn't think he'd have any sort of choice, by now. He's wondering if all of this isn't a really, really bad idea. In fact, he's pretty sure it is worse than that, more in the line of the worst idea ever, but that's probably part of the reason it's so appealing to him.

"I want this. I do." he says, and his voice cracks a little bit at the end.

Brendon shrugs, and gets up. It confuses Ryan a little when he kneels in front of him and starts taking Ryan's shoes off. Then he asks Ryan to raise his arms to remove his shirt. He has to stand up for Brendon to takes his pants off, as well as his boxers. Brendon sits him back on the bed and goes behind him. He starts by brushing slowly his back downward, his fingers cold against Ryan's skin. Then, he start kissing Ryan's neck, while his hands go wandering on his chest, touching and caressing, from his bellybutton to his nipples. This is so different from what Ryan had expected that he finds himself completely thrown off guard. He doesn't know how to act, so all he does is watch his and Brendon's reflexion. He's not prepared for when Brendon takes him in his hand and start jerking him off. He lets out noises, breathes and moans he hadn't planned to make, at least not this early. Their eyes cross for a short instant in the reflexion, and Brendon grins before biting delicately his neck, not enough to cut his skin.

"Brendon..." he pleads, because this is too much. He needs Brendon to stop playing around and fucking...

There's a sharp pain when Brendon finally digs his fangs into him. He lets out a high moan as a flash of pleasure rushes through him.

This time, Brendon has pulled back, probably so that Ryan don't pass out. He feels drops of hot liquid running on his skin, from where Brendon has bitten him. He watches it trace path down his neck, his collarbones, dark red against his ivory skin.

"You're really beautiful," Brendon whispers, "I've never seen someone as stunning as you are."

Brendon takes Ryan's hand in his own and leads it to his cock.

"Now, you should touch yourself," Brendon whispers.

Ryan starts stroking, Brendon's hand covering his own. It feels so good that he drops his head back, eyes shut, but Brendon grabs his hair and forces him to stand straight.

"Look at yourself," he says, voice dark and low. Ryan opens his eyes and stares at himself in the mirror, fucking into his fist and Brendon's, mouth hanging half opened in a very sensual way. Brendon licks the trails of blood on him, going from his chest to his neck, making sure to make eye contact with Ryan the all time.

"Come," Brendon commands, and when he does, his all body jolts in pleasure.

He sees the want, the lust and something else, very predatory in Brendon's eyes. He takes Ryan's hand and licks the come of it, before kissing Ryan. He can taste blood and come blending on Brendon's tongue and inside Brendon's mouth, his blood and his come. God, he's almost hard again.

 "I'm gonna fuck you, now," Brendon says against his mouth, and yes, fuck, Ryan wants that.

Brendon motions in front of him and pushes him on his back, on the bed. He startles Ryan's body, one leg on each side, and bends forward to bite him on the other side of his neck. Then he straightens up, spits on his fingers and slides one digit into Ryan's entrance. He's not gentle anymore, not at all, and it hurts when he puts a second finger in, but Ryan doesn't complain. He's not sure if it's because of the endorphins of the most recent bite, or if he actually likes the pain, but it makes him even harder.

Brendon doesn't even bother to add another finger before he aligns with Ryan's hole. He pushes into him roughly, and his eyes are now completely black.

"Fuck, Brendon, harder," Ryan begs, panting and placing his hands on Brendon's hips, because he needs to hold on something or he's just gonna sink.

Brendon immediately moves faster, back and forth inside Ryan. He leans and bites a third time, and he kinds of growl, like some sort of hungry animal, as he fists Ryan's hair. He holds onto him like he would hold on a pray, harshly and possessively, and Ryan is so close that he just has to brush his dick with his hand and he's coming again, all over his and Brendon's body.

Brendon pulls his hair hard before he comes as well inside of Ryan.

 

*

 

"Do you want some tea, Ryan ?" she asks.

"Sure, thanks."

As she hands him the cup, Ryan has a strange impression, like some sort of déjà-vu. He sweeps it off his mind and takes the tiny porcelain cup she's handing him. There's a little bit of wind and a blond lock of hair flies to her face. She giggles, her laugh like crystal, as she sticks it behind her ear. He reaches her hand and entwine their fingers. His heart is beating very fast as he leans above the table and place a soft kiss on her lips.

There's music and they are dancing in the grass, turning around the trees, by the pond. She laughs when he makes her swirl, and when he brings her back to him, she's smiling wide. He kisses her again, this time more passionately. He can taste her, she lets him part her lips and slide his tongue into her mouth. Somehow, her taste and her smell changes. He opens his eyes to realize that he is not kissing her anymore. He pulls back, a little shocked, since Spencer is looking at him, young and handsome with his long hair and blue eyes. Ryan doesn't hesitate when he is dragged into another kiss, responding with his adolescent clumsiness. This time, he can feel Spencer's beard tickle his cheek. Spencer breaks the kiss and Ryan's so nervous and full of hope, when he asks, "Spence, would you go out with me... ?"

Spencer's eyes widen, and his mouth curls into a dreadful smile that shifts into a cruel bitter laugh.

"Are you serious ? Ryan, nobody would want to date you. Nobody wants to date a whore"

Ryan fights the tears as Spencer watches him run away. He sinks deeper inside the garden and falls on his knees, just behind a big tree. He cries. He can still hear the music of the party, the notes are loud, hitting him, keeping him from rest when all he would want to do is pass out. Everything is just pounding in his brain, so heavy

Why the fuck

is it

so

 _loud_.

 

*

 

Ryan wakes up experiencing a killer headache, and as a vampire, he's really not used to it. He sits in the bed, looking around for Brendon who is not next to him. Instead, he catches his silhouette at the piano, staring at Ryan from afar. Ryan understands then that the music playing in his dream wasn't only his imagination but actually Brendon playing.

"Did I wake you up ?" he asks, running his fingers on the keys absently again.

"No," Ryan says, even if, now that he thinks about it, he probably did.

When Ryan stands up, he can see his reflexion fully in the mirror. His hair are very messy, pointing in every directions. His fair skin is smeared with dried blood, there are dark red stains all over him, on his collar especially. When he turns around, he can see scars on his neck, but also on his hips and on his back, which surprises him because he hadn't noticed Brendon had been that violent in the moment.

He looks like he survived a bear attack.

He wants to leave, now, but he suddenly feels very drained, and each step is too much effort, so he ends up taking place next to Brendon on the little bench in front of the piano.

"You need to rest and then hunt," Brendon says as he stops playing,"I'll bring you something in a few hours, so you can recover enough to go hunt yourself."

Ryan nods, but then his head starts spinning and he feels himself faint. Brendon catches him and he's kind of gone right now, but he's almost sure Brendon's carrying him to his bed. Like a princess. He hears himself laugh, and a distant voice tells him to go back to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me your thoughts ? 
> 
> I might be posting the next chapter this week if i manage well :)


	4. What's the point of playing a game you're gonna lose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's way harder than i thought to write them as assholes, but...
> 
> Also my love for Spencer Smith has no limits, so i'm sorry.

Ryan wonders for a second if Jon would go with him. He hasn't talked to anyone since the public humiliation and he doesn't really know how Jon feels about all this. After all, he just watched it happen and didn't do anything. He probably laughed too, that bastard. Talk to Ryan about friendship.

He feels an unexpected wave of anger rush through him, unexpected because he hadn't realized before that Jon's opinion meant something to him. It's weird, because he really tried not to get attached to those people, and he thought he succeeded pretty well. And since they are the worst arrogant shitheads, with not too much difficulty. Furthermore, after a certain amount of years, feeling things (like love, or empathy) becomes harder and harder. Or, in Ryan's case, not feeling becomes easier. Feelings are human things, it wears of with time, like memories.

Ryan walks to Jon's room anyway.

He's about to knock when he's interrupted by a familiar voice.

“He's not in there.”

He turns his head to look at Spencer, standing in the corridor beside him, Brendon by his side. Spencer's and his gaze meet for a very short time, before Ryan purposefully adresses to Brendon.

“Ok. Where is he ?”

“None of your fucking business,” Spencer mutters, and Brendon throws a pissed of glance at him.

“Don't start,” he says, “Ok, Ryan. Spencer is going with you”

“No !” Ryan pretty much shouts, “I mean, I wish I could go with someone else. Where's Jon ? Or... anyone really. I could go with Gabe. Or William, fuck, I don't-”

“Shut up,” Brendon says, “Spencer's going. I'm not asking”.

Ryan would have protested, but something in Brendon's tone and attitude deters him, so he just agrees. After all, he hasn't fed yet, and he is starting to feel a little uneasy. He _has_ to hunt. With Spencer. Whatever.

Brendon turns around and starts heading back into the corridor, after he gives them both a dark look, that feels mostly like a warning.

 

***

 

They've been walking in the deserted streets in silence, Ryan a few steps behind Spencer. Even though it's the end of November and the air is starting to get cold, Spencer's just wearing a white dress shirt and black jeans. Ryan is been staring at the other vampire's back, because he doesn't really have anything else to do. Spencer's hair are starting to grow a little too long for his sophisticated haircut, and it makes Ryan wonder for how long he hasn't cut his own hair. At least 50 years, he believes. Maybe it's time for him to get an haircut too, since curvy brown locks are starting to touch his shoulders.

Spencer freezes suddenly. Ryan walks the few steps that separated them and gets by his side. On the other side of the street, not far from were they are, a car parks. A woman gets out clumsily. From the late hour and her outfit Ryan deduces that she's a prostitute.

She yells at the person driving the car, trying to keep the door open, and some money gets thrown at her feet. She bends to pick it up and stands miserably as the car leaves, all lights off.

Ryan and Spencer both move at the same time, crossing the street to get closer to the woman. Well, no that Ryan's closer, he realizes that she's more of a girl. 16 or 17 at most. She's got shapes, long legs, huge breast and ass, barely covered by her very short skirt, but her pretty face, even weighed down by too much makeup, is still very juvenile. After she'd put the few bills into a little pink purse, she notices them and starts to walk away, trying not to look their way. She turns at a corner into a narrow alley, hurrying up, but Spencer and Ryan are starting to reach her back. Soon enough, Ryan's tired of this little game, so he accelerate enough and stands in front of her, blocking her way. She turns around before him, but Spencer's already behind her, looking her down, grinning wide.

“Hi,” Spencer says.

“I-I'm not working,” she declares, “so you and your friend better fuck off, and leave me alone right now, or...”

She's standing straight, head up, staring at Spencer in an almost provoking way, and she's trying to look confident, ignoring Ryan like it's no big deal that he is just a step behind her, making it impossible for her to escape if she wanted to. He finds that her facade of self assurance could be convincing, but her hands are shaking, her arms hanging alongside her body, and she can't keep herself from throwing a fast glance behind her shoulder, meeting Ryan's gaze for a spilt second.

“Or what ?” Spencer asks, softly. Ryan sighs, because he's not in the mood of playing with their prey, but apparently Spencer is.

She opens her mouth, but he speaks before her.

“I bet you have a pimp. You think he'll do anything to protect you, don't you ? Or maybe, maybe he's also your lover ? Because he loves you, he'll keep the bad guys away. Well, not all of them. Just the very bad guys. The ones who don't pay”

Spencer chuckles and the girl looks a thrown off by his speech.

“You-you don't know anything, asshole,” she growls, and then she spits at his feet. That, Ryan thinks, is a very stupid move.

Almost immediately Spencer grabs her arm. She squeals, and Ryan can here the noise of the bone breaking. She stumbles backwards and against Ryan's chest, her mouth wide opened with surprise and pain, and Ryan has just the time to gag her with his hand before she would have started screaming. He holds her tight, leading her further into the alley.

She's sobbing now, her eyes and nose dripping onto Ryan's hands. Disgusting.

“I'm first”, Spencer says, getting his fangs out. He can feels the girls scream into his hand and then he thinks she's probably fainted since she's not standing up anymore. He drops her to the dirty pavement.

 

***

 

As the hot blood fills his mouth, he bites harder into the flesh and it feels like taking his first breath after being deprived of air for too long. It's pleasurable, even though it doesn't taste very good, since Spencer has already taken his share and he has to deal with the leftovers. Ryan is too relieved to care, so he bites a second time in the throat.

When he lifts his head up, he finds Spencer watching him with disdain, which is unfair, because he was in the exact same position a few minutes ago. Ryan gets up and licks the blood from his lips, still looking at Spencer in the eyes. It's only when Spencer turns around, sighing, that he understands that the other vampire isn't disturbed by Ryan's current behavior, but by something else.

“Let's go back,” Spencer says.

 

***

 

Coming back is highly uncomfortable and awkward, unsurprisingly, neither of them saying a word. They're driving back to the lair, the darkness of the countryside only cut by the strong lights of Spencer's car.

Ryan scratches his neck a little, expecting the rugged feeling left by Brendon's marks, but the skin is smooth under his fingers. He's a little impressed by the healing acceleration that occurs after drinking human blood.

“I can't believe you let him do that,” Spencer says, eyes not leaving the road. His tone still has the same disgust and a dash of aversion to it. Maybe even a little anger.

“Why do you care ?”

“I don't,” Spencer answers, with kind of a shrug. He waits a moment before continuing,“ I just didn't realize you were that...” and he doesn't finish, but his silence speaks for itself. Suddenly, Ryan's pissed of. He's tired and angry, angry at Spencer for his behavior toward him now, but also and mostly for the shit he's been giving him for years.

“Fuck you,” he snaps. He means to say that. What he doesn't mean to say, is that Spencer is not only a petty asshole who should stop licking Brendon's asscrack before he judges others, but also a fucking despicable coward. He says it anyways. He almost immediately regrets it when Spencer's hands tighten around the wheel. The car stops suddenly and Ryan is crushed against the car's door, Spencer holding him by the collar.

“If you think you can speak to me like that...”

“Then what ?” And Ryan thinks about the girl earlier and about how her threat came out so flat, just like Spencer's. She was as trapped as they are.

“Then what...” he repeats softly.

Spencer let go of him. He opens the door and get out of the car, planning on walking the rest of the way. But Spencer walks after him. He grabs Ryan's arm from behind and Ryan slips away and turns around.

“What's your fucking problem, Spencer ? I know it has nothing to do with that,” he says, pointing his neck with a finger, “You've been a jerk with me since way too long. What the fuck do you want ?”

He holds Spencer's look until it drops.

“I want you to leave,” Spencer admits, “You don't deserve to be in our circle.”

Ryan rolls his eyes and shake slightly his head.

“That's bullshit.”

“You're not a good element,” Spencer continues, “I don't know why the other don't see it. Even Brendon. They forgive you everything. But I'm not blind. And don't believe because you had a stupid thing for me that I won't see-”

“Wait. What ?” Ryan cuts, as he can't believe his ears.

“Oh, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You ruined our friendship with you dumb crush on me. And you ruined my life. I never wanted to be...like that. It's all your fault.”

Ryan is taken aback by Spencer's accusation. He frowns and says,

“I didn't change you.”

“But it was you. I know."

Spencer's expression is unreadable. He goes back to the car, and drives past Ryan, not giving him a second look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys comments make me so happy everytime <3


	5. Oh my lover, my love we can never go back, we can only do our best to recreate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan meets new people. 
> 
> Don't get, like, too attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....
> 
> I'm so so so sorry for not updating sooner, i literally have no excuses. I could say that i have a life outside the internet but i don't, i'm just unreliable. 
> 
> Things happened, though. I saw the boys live and then needed a week to process (they are reaL what). 
> 
> Also can we talk about Ryan's last IG ??!! vampire!ryan confirmed, guys.
> 
> (aaand i might have posted this chapter unedited by mistake some times ago, sorry if you saw it)
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, i'm posting two chapters, forgive me ?

Ryan knocks at Brendon's door once again, not sure himself of what he is looking for. Maybe Spencer is right. Maybe he is a sick sadistic freak. But for now, he doesn't really feel any shame. He only wants to stop thinking, he just wants to give up all control for a while. 

Brendon opens the door and stare at him with a little smirk.

“Can I get in ?” Ryan asks, in a quiet, almost guilty tone.

Brendon smile frankly at him, now, and he nods, stepping away a little bit so that Ryan can enter the bedroom.

 

  
“So, it didn't go well with Spencer,” Brendon guesses.

They're both lying on Brendon's bed, Ryan on his back and Brendon next to him.

“Was it because of... that?” Brendon touches his collarbones. He traces along a long cut that's almost invisible now, just a pinkish mark on Ryan's milky skin.

“No. Yes. A bit, I guess...”

Brendon laughs slightly.

“I figured he wouldn't approve so much...”

Brendon moves to sit next to Ryan.

“What else, tell me” Brendon's tone is soft, but authoritarian, as usual.

Weirdly, Ryan feels that it's ok for him to share, in the semi-dark room, laid on Brendon's bed, it feels kind of safe. He tells Brendon everything, about his friendship with Spencer, his crush on him, and then, a long time after that, how the ended up hating each other.

“He says it's my fault. If he is a vampire,” Ryan sighs.

“And is it ?”

 

One day, Ryan found Spencer, almost dead. They weren't friend anymore, even at the time. Ryan was already a vampire, Pete had changed him a few years ago. Ryan was back in his hometown because he had heard that there was a new circle around Phoenix (Brendon's circle), that would guarantee him some sort of security and comfort. His life at the time was particularly awful, he didn't know how to deal with his thirst very well, and Pete was a mediocre leader.

One day, after he'd spend a lot of time in Phoenix trying to find this new circle, he decided to try and find about Spencer, by curiosity mostly. That's when he learned that his former best friend had been caught up in a robbery and almost killed, and that he was now in a hospital, with very few chances of survival. Ryan found him in a coma. Then, Ryan's not very proud of that, it's kind of pathetic really, but he panicked a little bit. He's not sure what it was, maybe the fact that Spencer was one of the few persons that did left a mark on his life, but anyway, Spencer being dead was not an option. Ryan wasn't old or experimented enough to turn him himself, so he asked Joe, a vampire from Pete's circle, to do it.The problem, and what Ryan didn't know is that at the time, is that Spencer had a fiancee. Her name was Haley, she was about their age, a local girl that grew up probably just a few street away from them.

Usually, when a new vampire is created, the person who turned him takes the young one under their responsibility. Pete helped Ryan hunting for his first time, and explained everything to him. Joe didn't. Joe wasn't ready to mentor anyone, so he freaked out after biting Spencer and he didn't take care of him.

Ryan can imagine how Spencer woke up, confused, thirsty and hurt. It wasn't surprising that he jumped at the first living thing he saw and bled it entirely.

The first thing he saw was Haley.

Spencer had been at war with Joe and Pete's circle since, but Ryan didn't know he held him responsible for Haley's death as well... until today. Ryan would have thought the resentment had faded, since all of it happened such a long time ago, and their previous lives didn't matter anymore. Everybody knew that.

“I didn't turn him. I saved him,” he says.

“Some people don't know when to be grateful,” Brendon comments.

Brendon moves over him, settling his legs around Ryan's tights and places his hands on the pillow, on each side of Ryan's head. He leans very close, his lips almost touching the shell of Ryan's ear.

“Are you grateful, Ryan ?”

 

***

 

That night, there wasn't a lot of blood, much to Ryan's surprise. Brendon mostly teased, and actually bit him only once, on his hip. However, Brendon fucked him hard, tougher than the previous time, and Ryan can still feel the burn when he walks.

He's reading in one of the numerous salons of Spencer's manor when he is interrupted by his so called friend Jon Walker. The guy walks in, greeting Ryan loudly, sits on a chair next to him and asks how Ryan's doing.

He is a little surprised by the lack of guilt Jon seems to show. Really not enough for someone who participated in his humiliation.

“Fine,” he says coldly, looking back at his book in an attempt to shut the other man up, which he doesn't seem to catch on, since he keeps talking in the same joyful tone.

“That's good. Hey, wanna hang out ? Actually, I would like you to meet someone...”

Ryan looks up from his book and Jon is watching him with a friendly look, hopeful eyes. There's not a lot of vampires like Jon. Pretty much everyone that Ryan knows is either dark and bitter (the category Ryan likes to think he fits in most) or a fucking psychopath (the category he thinks peoples like Spencer and Brendon fit the most). Jon doesn't belong in one of these groups. That guy is always cheerful, always loud and happy and he just radiates so much glee... Ryan thinks it's unfair. You can't have immortality and joy of life. He agrees to follow Jon anyway.

“I've met Alex and Z on a trip to New York, needed to be there for business,” Jon explains.

Jon goes on business trips for Brendon. He meets leaders and members of other circles, to deal with any kind of stuff. He's like some sort of messenger, or ambassador. He's usually good at it, Jon never had problems to get people to like him, he probably can get a good advantage of any situation. Jon says “didn't work out. They wanted to talk with _my superior_ ,” and he makes disbelieving face, like that's a really dumb thing to ask, “Like seeing Urie will solve anything. They're just gonna piss him off... and it's just gonna start shit.”

“What's the problem with the New York circle ?” Ryan asks, since it seems to be upsetting Jon, which is not a good sign.

“Oh, hum, I'm not really allowed to talk about it for now. But don't worry, it's not that worrying, really. They made an effort, they sent someone over here, to discuss. It's a pretty positive gesture. And I think we should have faith in our leader.”

Jon clears his throat and looks away from Ryan uncomfortably as he pushes the door of one of the main rooms of the house, a huge living room, where they usually welcome important guests. Inside, two people, sat on an old couch, are chatting animatedly. The woman is clearly trying to make her point to the guy who looks rather unconvinced. When they spot Ryan and Jon, they both stop arguing and a big smile settles on the woman's face, as she gets up to meet them.

“Jon !” She exclaims, and she lays a light kiss on his cheek.

“Hi Z,” he says, flushing slightly, “Alex. This is Ryan”

She turns to look at him and smiles again.

“Nice to meet you, Ryan.” She kisses him as well, her soft lips feeling like a butterfly on Ryan's cheek. He smiles back at her and looks back to the man, Alex. He hasn't gotten up. He simply cocks his head in Ryan's direction, as a greeting.

“It's really nice to be here,” Z says “I like the city, but mostly I love the countryside. Alex and I were taking about it. He thinks it's depressing, but I firmly disagree. Here you have all the place, all the space you need to, see, to think. It's important, you know,” she points at Ryan, like she's addressing him in particular, “It's important for us to keep evolving, otherwise, what's the purpose? Otherwise, we might as well be dead.” She lets out a little laugh, and Ryan's not sure there's really anything funny in what she just said.

“We saw a deer on the way here, on the road. How charming is that ? It walked funny, it looked a little dumb, to be honest, but that was something, wasn't it, Alex ?” She looks his way, not enough time for him to actually answer. “Anyway, the place is gorgeous. Lot's of taste in the decoration. How many of you live here ?”

Jon starts enumerating all the members of the circle that live in the big house. She listens to him, eyes narrowing a little in interest. Ryan sighs and stares away from Jon and Z to realize that Alex is staring straight at him with piercing green eyes. He's grinning, just a little bit, probably mocking Ryan's reaction at his first encounter with Z. Ryan decides to smile back at him. Now that he pays attention, Ryan notices that the man is pretty handsome. He looks tall, even though he is seated, he's got nice features, beautiful eyes, and his brown hair falls on his shoulder in way that makes him look casual, but classy, which is what Ryan usually tries to do, but in comparison, it just looks overgrown and messy.

“I thought you three should talk a little bit,” Jon declares, now that he seems to be done with introducing the whole circle to Z, “Ryan, these guys are really interested in the sort of things you love, like, music and books... you who's always complaining you've got no one to talk with, I brought you some nerds to discuss your artsy stuff with.”

Z makes an offended face, but then chuckles and Ryan thinks that Jon might have found his soulmate.

“I'd be glad to have a talk with you, Ryan.” Alex says, and he's got a deep, pleasant voice. Yeah, Ryan would like that, too. A talk.

But Jon says “Oh, I'm sorry but this is gonna have to wait. You must meet with our leader, now. Ryan, I'll send them to you after, ok ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i appreciate Z Berg a lot. 
> 
> ah, and when they talk about Phoenix, it's Phoenix Oregon. Idk much about american geography and what's important is that there is forest around, so i hope i'm not too wrong about this... (that, friend, is why you should write about things and places that you know. But the fun thing in writing fanfiction is that you can say fuck to that kind of rule, right ?)


	6. Maybe i found a life worth living for someone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 
> 
> bad
> 
> sorry

“Rimbaud is like, so overrated,”Alex says “It's like, so pretentious”

“French sounds pretentious but it actually isn't. It's only that you don't understand it. Rimbaud is the shit, I'm telling you.”

Ryan can't help but smile at Alex's disbelieving face. They've been arguing like that for hours and Ryan can't remember the last time he had that much fun with another person. Alex is witty, sarcastic and absolutely brilliant. Ryan's amazed that he is the best company he's had for a long lime. After their meeting with Brendon, Jon led Alex and Z to Ryan's room and they stayed, the four of them, for the evening. Ryan found out that like Jon said, he had a lot in common with Alex Greenwald and Z Berg. After a while, Z said that she was exhausted by the trip and that she'd like to join her room. Jon volunteered to show her the way. Ryan found himself alone with Alex in his room, talking literature. And watching Alex. A lot. Ryan can't help but stare at Alex's lips as he rants about Proust or Shakespear or Rimbaud. He's got nice lips. Not as nice as Brendon's, but...

“So, are you and Z, like, together ?”

Alex doesn't look surprised by Ryan's question, like it's something he is often asked. 

“No. We're close, but we've never been romantically involved”

“Really ? Can I ask why ? She looks like a fairly amazing partner...”

Alex blushes a little, and he bites his lips before responding “Hm, that'd be weird. Z isn't... she doesn't settle. And our bond is stronger than any romantic relationship we could have," Alex pauses, like he is unsure what to say next. "She turned me, you know," he confesses. 

“Oh.” Ryan does his best not to look too surprised. Z, the cheerful blonde who can't seem to shut her mouth up and who looks so, so tiny next to someone like Alex, is the one who turned him ? He would never have guessed.

“So I'm totally free” Alex says, and it brings Ryan back to reality. He wipes his doubts away and smiles back at Alex who has moved closer to him on the couch they share. 

“You've got very nice eyes, Ryan, do you know that ?” he says, as he brushes Ryan's cheek with the side of his hand. 

Ryan leans in first and he shuts his mind that's telling him no, you shouldn't when their lips finally meet. 

 

***

 

Alex pounds into him, again and again, pining him to the mattress. He mutters nonsense into Ryan's ear, before he comes with a loud moan, inside of him. They've been at it for what feels like a very long time, Ryan thinks, and he still hasn't come yet. Not because he's got an extraordinary stamina, nor because Alex isn't good...no, Alex is trying his best, touching Ryan correctly, fucking him slowly at first and then roughly, when he gets Ryan better. Alex is sexy and a careful lover, and Ryan is hard. Now that he has decided to cut reality off a little and to be creative with his mind, he is. So when Alex comes and he imagine that it is Brendon's weight above him, Brendon's finger curling around his cock, he finally feels the heat building in his guts, and a wave of pleasure spreading pleasantly in his body when he comes as well onto their stomach. Out of breath, Alex rolls on Ryan's side, laying on the bed. Alex smiles at him, and that's pretty nice. He's glad he has kept Alex from the shame of not getting him off, that would have made things awkward.

“You ok ?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah, 'was good,” he answers. Alex seems satisfied with that.

 

***

 

When Jon tells them about the dinner, all Ryan can think of is that it's completely stupid. 

“It's completely stupid,” he says. 

Jon rolls his eyes and Ryan turns to Alex, looking for some support here, but Alex simply shrugs, like Ryan is making a big deal out of nothing. 

No, but seriously. They're vampires. They don't eat food. 

“I'm not going to sit at that table and pretend to eat. I've passed the age of playing dînette.”

“You're not gonna have to pretend, Ryan. There will be real food. I mean, stuff we can eat.” Jon assures. 

“Oh, so you mean we're gonna drink blood from crystal glasses, or better, we're gonna heat it and sip like soup ? That's not weird and creepy at all-” 

“Well, some of us are creepy anyway. Plus, we're vampires, we're supposed to be creepy.”

“-And it's useless, since 90% of blood's benefits are lost if you don't feed directly on the prey” Ryan recites, ignoring Jon's argument. 

Jon sighs and says “It's tradition, Ry. If you don't wanna come, don't, but Brendon's gonna be pissed.” 

Brendon. He's been very occupied lately. Ryan hasn't seen him in a while. But he has also spent a lot of time with Alex on his side. He's not really feeling guilty about this. They don't have anything serious. 

“Who's idea is this, anyway ?” Ryan asks, knowing that it doesn't look like something Brendon would come up with. 

“Spencer's, I think...”

 

***

 

The room they have chosen to set the dinner is pretty big, and, at Ryan's surprise, pretty well decorated. There's a huge wooden table, covered with a greenish tablecloth. The crockery looks rich and expensive. Above the table hangs a big lustre chandelier. The whole is fairly impressive and pretentious.

There are names written on little papers in the plates, that Ryan precociously ignores when he goes to sit next to Alex on the right side of the table. Brendon will sit at the extremity of the table, with Alex and Z on each side, as guests. Jon is placed next to him, and Spencer in front of him. After a while, everyone has found their seat (even Brent Wilson, whose name was written on the plate Ryan has claimed, and who went to sit at Ryan's original place on the other side of the table. Ryan only had to growl at him a little). Everyone is chatting, Jon keeping Z's attention with some stories from when Brendon sent him in Europe, under Spencer's disapproving look, like Jon shouldn't disclose such classified stories to strangers, even though Jon's story is mostly about how he managed to seduce one girl from every country he visited. Z gasps and Ryan smirks when Jon comes to the part where the stunning german lady he'd spent days courting and who finally invited him home wasn't actually a lady, but it was already to late to turn back. 

“Something kinda similar happened to Ryan,” Jon says, reporting the attention to him “except the roles were inverted”. 

Z looks at him, eyes wide opened, probably waiting for him to develop. Ryan turns to Alex who raises an eyebrow, looking curious. Ryan shrugs “I was in a make-up phase. And I actually ended up boning the guy, so...” Ryan smiles shyly as everyone burst into laughter and even Alex grins. 

“You always end up boning the guy, don't you ?” Spencer says cooly. 

“Not really. I'd say he mostly ends up being boned buy the guy” someone says, interrupting Ryan who was about to snap at Spencer. He hadn't seen Brendon had joined them at the table. Nobody had, apparently, since everyone suddenly stops talking to pay attention to him. 

“Now, I'm sure Ryan's sexual exploits is a fascinating and oh so wide subject of discussion, but that's not why we organized this dinner, is it ? So let's do it properly” 

Brendon flashes Ryan a dark look. He is clearly angered, but it's not Ryan's fault, he didn't even bring the subject up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise i'll post very soon. I'll have more time this week.


End file.
